The latest back page humor column in Esquire features some amusing imagined corrections to the Kama Sutra. Enjoy:
Page 29: The illustration of "Congress of the Cow" misidentifies the main participants. The male is "Rich Prince" (not Richard Prince from Highland, Illinois) and the female is "Compliant Servant" (not Cynthia Servantès from Cincinnati). We regret the errors.
Page 46: In the diagram that depicts the fourth-century "Rocking Tortoise of the Kama Sutra," the male should be declaring, "In the realm of the pleasurable, we are now both as one; together we shall reach limits of ecstasy never before imagined" and not "Goddamn, woman, you are freakin' fine!"
Page 138: The caption for "Giving Pleasure in the Back of the 7 Train" failed to mention that the subway car must come to a full stop before one should attempt this act and that, while not in violation of any known statute, this maneuver will likely be frowned upon if performed in front of tourists, the infirm, or groups of children on field trips to the local zoo.
Page 162: Due to a printer's error, the following warning for "Pushing the Wheelbarrow" was inadvertently omitted: Do not under any circumstances deploy this position as an icebreaker during first dates, high school reunions, or corporate-retreat "trust" games.
The author's dedication, "To my loving and beautiful wife, Narendra," should have read, "To my loving and beautiful and infinitely more limber second wife, Savita."
